So I have taken a new strategy to this exciting endeavor. First- since Danmo doesn't seem to get or be able to handle a work in progress- I am able to work on things and then pick them up when I am free again. This significantly reduces my stress level. So far this week I have redone the home office. I bought new rugs, changed the furniture around and had my new treadmill delivered. I know that with the increased stress of balancing home management and motherhood I am going to need all the endorphins I can get and all the energy I can get. We suspended our Y membership for the time Danmo is at school and that in itself pays for most of the treadmill expense.
My biggest surprise since Danmo has been gone? That I need a clean house to be happy- its not just him!
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Sunday, August 01, 2010
A New Adventure
With Danmo away at school, now I begin the adventure of single motherhood- sort of. I do not have the worry about going out to get a job to support my family. I do have the worries of its all on me. Worries of how to balance it all and keep all the balls in the air. I am saddest for me thinking of him not being here at the end of his work day to share our thoughts and experiences that have happened. We struggle to get much done in the evenings when he is home- we just enjoy being together and time flies.
I came back home yesterday after being down range with him setting up his apartment. The trip down there was an adventure for both of us. Danmo drove and I flew. He got there in the afternoon and my flight was scheduled to land a few hours later. He calls while I am in the airport to tell me his cooling system in his car has quit. No A/C and now the car is doing that thing where the temperature needle on the dash is going into the HOT zone. We decide right there for me to get a rental car at the airport. I try to get one while getting on my flight- but I do not have enough time to arrange one. My flight was mostly normal until I reached my destination. We had to keep circling around the airport because there were thunderstorms. Then we had to be diverted to another nearby airport so we could get fuel. While refueling I quickly reserve my rental car- whew! We finally land in our right airport and I get my rental car- 3 hours later than I should have landed. The drive to his apartment is 1.5 hours. I finally get there near midnight. I stopped at Walmart on the way to get a trash can, shower curtain, rings, and liner. Danmo had told me how he washed up but couldn't really shower without a shower curtain, so I surprised him with a few housewarming gifts.
We really had to do a lot of shopping for him! Tuesday and Wednesday we shopped like crazy- even I was tired of shopping at that point! Thursday we spent the whole day putting things together. Dinner most night was late like 8 pm. This was a blessing in so many ways because we were able to just have a snack and push through with our work and get so much more done than if we had to stop at "normal" dinner times. Friday we worked all the way up until midnight- when my body started shutting down - I needed sleep.
These days together were filled with a lot of hard work and joy. The workout clothes I brought with me were never used- there was no spare moment- we did take teh stairs a lot as a form of exercise- the 7th floor- whew! It really required us to be loving and patient with each other. We had to do a lot of scouting around to find stores, restaurants and we found a wonderful Mass there- its only a 2 minute drive from Danmo's apartment. What a blessing to find such a wonderful parish deep in the heart of Dixie!
In many ways this trip was like a second honeymoon. No children with us- though we did miss them desperately. No children with us, just us- alone enjoying being together. We had so much work to do to make his apartment a livable space, but we worked together side by side and got it all done. There were times when we didn't even talk- we just listened to music while we worked toward this common goal- who knew a filing cabinet had so many freaking parts?
Saturday morning came too soon. I was heartsick to leave my other half behind- until I turned on the highway to the airport- then I was heartsick to get home to my sweet little blessings. I was greeted at home from the most awesome squeals, hugs and kisses. Stella laughed and laughed and kept hugging me- she couldn't believe I was here. Oh what a joy it is to be home with them- it makes my heart happy. I admit to a very heavy part of my heart- the part left in the south. I can't wait until he is home again and we are reunited as a whole family. God bless the single parents out there- I don't know how they do it all alone, except for the grace from God.
Dear Lord, grant me grace to excel in this endeavor.
I came back home yesterday after being down range with him setting up his apartment. The trip down there was an adventure for both of us. Danmo drove and I flew. He got there in the afternoon and my flight was scheduled to land a few hours later. He calls while I am in the airport to tell me his cooling system in his car has quit. No A/C and now the car is doing that thing where the temperature needle on the dash is going into the HOT zone. We decide right there for me to get a rental car at the airport. I try to get one while getting on my flight- but I do not have enough time to arrange one. My flight was mostly normal until I reached my destination. We had to keep circling around the airport because there were thunderstorms. Then we had to be diverted to another nearby airport so we could get fuel. While refueling I quickly reserve my rental car- whew! We finally land in our right airport and I get my rental car- 3 hours later than I should have landed. The drive to his apartment is 1.5 hours. I finally get there near midnight. I stopped at Walmart on the way to get a trash can, shower curtain, rings, and liner. Danmo had told me how he washed up but couldn't really shower without a shower curtain, so I surprised him with a few housewarming gifts.
We really had to do a lot of shopping for him! Tuesday and Wednesday we shopped like crazy- even I was tired of shopping at that point! Thursday we spent the whole day putting things together. Dinner most night was late like 8 pm. This was a blessing in so many ways because we were able to just have a snack and push through with our work and get so much more done than if we had to stop at "normal" dinner times. Friday we worked all the way up until midnight- when my body started shutting down - I needed sleep.
These days together were filled with a lot of hard work and joy. The workout clothes I brought with me were never used- there was no spare moment- we did take teh stairs a lot as a form of exercise- the 7th floor- whew! It really required us to be loving and patient with each other. We had to do a lot of scouting around to find stores, restaurants and we found a wonderful Mass there- its only a 2 minute drive from Danmo's apartment. What a blessing to find such a wonderful parish deep in the heart of Dixie!
In many ways this trip was like a second honeymoon. No children with us- though we did miss them desperately. No children with us, just us- alone enjoying being together. We had so much work to do to make his apartment a livable space, but we worked together side by side and got it all done. There were times when we didn't even talk- we just listened to music while we worked toward this common goal- who knew a filing cabinet had so many freaking parts?
Saturday morning came too soon. I was heartsick to leave my other half behind- until I turned on the highway to the airport- then I was heartsick to get home to my sweet little blessings. I was greeted at home from the most awesome squeals, hugs and kisses. Stella laughed and laughed and kept hugging me- she couldn't believe I was here. Oh what a joy it is to be home with them- it makes my heart happy. I admit to a very heavy part of my heart- the part left in the south. I can't wait until he is home again and we are reunited as a whole family. God bless the single parents out there- I don't know how they do it all alone, except for the grace from God.
Dear Lord, grant me grace to excel in this endeavor.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
First half of February 2010
*February 4-Dan has to leave early for drill this weekend & I start feeling ill. I get the kids White Castle for dinner.(very rare) Meg is funny in the drive thru and asks if she can have a hic drink. None if us know what a hic drink is- but then Beth pipes up- she means HI-C. LOL! We were all rolling! Sorry, we just drink water in this house.
*February 6- Anne has a colorguard competition. I don't know any of the other parents. I am ill- there is no one else to take her. It is in Eureka and we have to be there at 11:30 and then the competition isn't until 1:07. I wake up this morning feeling HORRIBLE. So I dope myself up on Dayquil, Motrin, Sudafed and Chloraseptic. We make it through the competition and come home. I go straight to bed.
*February 7- I wake up feeling worse, so I take myself to the ER at St. Anthony's. I walk right in, no wait. What a blessing. I was so ill and weak I could barely drive myself to the ER. I am so grateful it is closeby. Get taken back, see the doc right away. He looks at my throat and is impressed at how big my uvula was(tonsils taken out at age 16). Swabs my throat- I have strep. I get my antibiotic and go home. Dan comes home, picks up Little Caesar's pizza for dinner.
*February 8- Meg is ill. Her throat hurts. Then Stella & Meg both start running fevers- joy :/ We call the pediatrician. He calls in a prescription for them since I have confirmed strep and they have been exposed, obviously.
*February 9- snowday! I love snowdays - I enjoy the laying in bed, I enjoy just being with the kids with no busyness. Beth & I go to Sam's Club and pick up candy for the kids Valentine's cards. Greg comes down with a fever and goes to bed, so he doesn't work on his valentines.
*February 10- Meg still running a fever, I am still weak. Greg seems to have bounced back almost immediately and I send him off to school. Dan's mom starts feeling ill.
*February 11- Megan's birthday. I am supposed to meet Megan for lunch. But Dan's mom is ill. Meg is still home ill. Stella is still under the weather. I am still fairly weak. I end up canceling. Thursdays are a pretty crazy night for us. Anne has Catechism classes down at St. Francis De Sales from 5-6:15 and the boys go to Boys Club, which starts at 7pm. Getting the family everywhere and getting everyone fed is a challenge to be sure. I always remind myself this is only until May 15, when Anne is confirmed- then this craziness will be over. Its temporary is my mantra on Thursday nights. But this Thursday night we are blessed. Catechism is cancelled and Boys' club is doing a field trip to the Basilica and we opted to not attend. What a blessed evening. I make these huge, beautiful porkchops for dinner with a pan sauce of onions, apples and bacon. YUM. Greg finally decides he should do his Valentines- this ends up lasting until 11:30 PM- UGH!
*February 12- The first day I start feeling well(mostly). I take Meg to the dermatologist to get a wart burned off, then off to school. She was so happy to make it to the Valentine's party! I go visit my mom and take her some food. I help her with a few household tasks. Then Stella & I go visit my dad. I am bushed- I really am still weak and need a nap. My dad really wants me to do some shopping for him and I just need to go home. He understands- I go home. I really don't get much rest. The kids are leaving messes all around and this makes me extremely crabby. Dan & I are supposed to go out for a date night that night. He convinces me to go. We went to Fletcher's in Crestwood Mall. It was good, not very expensive and not crowded. Then we walked around the mall to see what is/is not there anymore. What they have done with the art spaces is really cool. Our new date night tradition includes going to the YMCA together and relaxing in the hot tub for awhile. Come home and off to bed.
*February 13-My girlfriend Kristina calls out of no where Friday night to ask me to meet up with her for lunch. WHAT A TREAT! I have been feeling like a hermit lately with all of these people sick, going to hospitals, never being able to have anyone over. I really needed this time away. Kristina has been going through a lot of illnesses at her house to, so we just enjoyed just being OUT. Everyone appears to be well- PRAISE THE LORD!! Dan and his mom go visit uncle Ed at St. Mary's. He is healing well and should be going home on Wednesday!! We have the Hogrebe's over for dinner. Beth & Meg spend the night at their house.
*February 14- My friend's baby is being baptised at 8:30am in St. Charles. Due to the last month and a half I have not gotten her sling made- so I get up at 6am to make her sling. Dan's mom opts to not go to Mass, she isn't feeling well- again? still? I don't know. Dan wakes up feeling under the weather- GREAAAAT! Dan stays away from the baby. There is a nice reception afterwards and I got to see a lot of friends I rarely get to see. (YAY!) We get home about noon and Dan feels awful now, sore throat, etc. I suggest he goes to the YMCA and uses the hot tub. he does & then he comes home and feels even worse. he heads off to the ER, comes back 4 hours later with an antibiotic.
*February 15- I drop Gus off at a friend's house closeby. My neck again- UGH it has been acting up since the day we went to White Castle, but I was not able to get to the chiropractor due to being ill and weak. Today I go. He is again fabulous, spends a lot of time trying to get me back in shape. I find out he is selling his practice so he can go do research at Logan college. I am happy for him, sad for me. Beth, Stella and I then go to the Hallmark store to buy a card for my aunt. She & Beth share a birthday and Beth wanted to get her a nice card. Then Beth gets dropped off at a friend's house. Her friend is so sweet- she planned a mini surprise party for Beth!! I had no idea. I am so happy for Beth that she has made good friends at her new school. I pick up Anne & drop her off at the same friend's house where Gus is. About 4:30 pm, Dan lays down on the couch in the living room. He is woken pretty violently. Stella starts vomiting! UGH! Of course, now it is time to pick up all of the big kids from the various houses. Since Stella threw up on him, he had to change out of his jammies. This works to my benefit because he goes and picks up the kids while I hold a Stella who just can't seem to stop throwing up :( Poor baby! Meg's piano teacher shows up- the lesson goes well. Anne & Beth really pitch in to make dinner since I am really pinned down with a still throwing up Stella. What a blessing to have children who can help if they have a lot of direct supervision. Get all the kids off to bed. Dan & I rest by the fire in the fireplace. Stella still throwing up.
February 16- Stella wakes up chipper! YAY! She begs for water- like a fool I give her water & yogurt- yep- you guessed it, still throwing up. Now she is having diarrhea too. I was supposed to go visit my mom and dad today. I can not leave her like this. Dan's mom is still ill too.
I am just praying- begging for an end to all of this. I hope this Rotovirus does not rip through the rest of the family. lent begins tomorrow. I have already had a lot of mortifications this year. I am already ready for Easter. I am already ready for Spring.
Friday, February 05, 2010
January 2010
So January 2010 started quiet. Dan and I opted to stay home with the kids for New Years. We rented Night at the Museum and Night at the Museum2 and watched them as we rung in the New Year. I don't remember the first couple days as anything remarkable- just cleaning house and recovering from Christmas and my sister's wedding- taking it easy.
*January 4- a Sunday I woke up in incredible pain. I have a slipped disc (between C4 & C5). I have been to the neurologist, the chiropractor (who rocks out loud, BTW),a nd been to weeks of physical therapy. It started in July 2009- by November I was mostly better, but I still occasionally have flares. This was one and it was the worst ever. It was Sunday and we were getting ready for Mass. I had no idea how I would make it through. Dan had to help me put on my shirt. As I sat to eat a bite before Mass I realised there was no way I could make it to Mass :(
*January 5- went to Chiropractor. After literally crying through Sunday, I went to see Dr. Mark Schisler(314-351-4803) and he adjusted me- sweet relief! God bless this man!
*January 6- took Stella to the ENT because she snores horribly. He is sending us for a sleep study(Feb.9) and she will likely have some sort of surgery. I know she has some Sleep Apnea, depending on how bad they find it to be, then they will determine a treatment plan- likely she will have her tonsils out which normally, not ill touch her uvula!
*January 7-8 Sweet Mercy! Snow days. I had so much fun with my kids. We watched movies, made crafts, made lots of jewelry, decorated gingerbread houses- oh how lovely!
*January 8- Gosserfest 2010- what a blast! It was so nice to go out and hang out with friends- some I hadn't seen in years. Isn't it amazing how even tho you can not even talk to some people for years you just seem to pick up just where you left off? (hi Jill & Jenny!) Back when I was a child my cousin Kay really annoyed me. Now she is a few years older than me so this could be a combo of her being in the midst of the teen years while I was observing her. She was always beautiful and confident, and for a girl with self esteem issues that is hard to take. And for years I thought she was superficial and kind of snotty. Then...something changed- I changed. I got married and had kids and found my own confidence and the years that separated us seemed to not matter anymore- and we have become friends. I love her, I enjoy her, we can hang out and drink wine together(white for her, red for me) or beer for her, wine for me:) What a blessing to find a friend in the family. Anyway, she was at Gosserfest and it was great to just BE and to hang out with everyone.
*January 9 I did something I never do. I took the kids swimming at the YMCA. I hate swimming- they all love it. I did it for them. I was so enjoying them the past few days and I was so appreciative of all the help they had given me cleaning up the house earlier in the day- I just wanted the party to continue- so much that Saturday night we had party food for dinner- BBQ smokies, Bagel bites, veggies & dip and of course, dessert
* Then January was its typical busy getting back into the routine after Dan is gone & back from drill, getting the kids back into their routines for school, and preparing for our trip to Arkansas to see our dear friends. I was going around for days cleaning like a mad woman( I hate coming home to a dirty,messy house), making sure there were meals for my mother in law (who lives with us in case anyone didn't know)- she was staying behind, and getting things and people packed(hello laundry) for our trip.
*January 16- I get a call from a friend's son asking if I can take him to Boys club that night- both of his parents were ill (http://catholicboysclub.org/content/ ). I do. When its 8:30 and I am driving to pick up the boys, I get a call from Laura-friend's mom- and she asks me to please take her to the ER. She is violently ill with the stomach flu. I drop off the boys, pick up Laura and we head to the ER. I stay with her until 10:30, then go home to get some sleep- but tell her to call me when they release her and I will take her home. I just could not fall asleep until about 12:45. The phone rings at 3:30, its Laura- they have released her- she sounds so much better. I pick her up, take her to Walgreens and pick up her medicines. I drop her off at home- her husband, bless him, was also ill, so ill he didn't even know she was gone- so I had to call and wake him out of a dead sleep to let Laura in the house at 4:30 am! I got home and back in bed at 4:45, took awhile to fall back to sleep and then was up at 6am to get the kids off to school for the day. It stinks to be low on sleep when you are traveling, but I knew that Dan would drive a lot of the trip(6 hour trip) and I would be able to rest in the car. Instead of fretting, I am thanking God for allowing me to help perform corporal works of mercy and help my friends in time of need.
** We were to leave Friday when the kids got home from school. I had been baking double chocolate dream cookies, I had chili in the crockpot so we could dine(in paper bowls and plastic spoons, no less) and dash off to Arkansas. Two batches of bread in the works- Whole Wheat and Challah. The whole day was just cruising by.... and then the phone rang.
*January 15- my dad's cousin calls. My dad and her husband, Jack, are buddies. Jack takes my dad shopping and they just chew the fat- they are very different from each other in many ways, but very alike. I am often very grateful that my dad has Jack. Anyway, Jack's wife- Jackie calls me and says " Your dad called for Jack and wanted him to being him some water- he has been without food and water for 3 days- what do you want to do?" My dad has diabetes- the reason he had been without food or water for 3 days was because he has horrible open sores on his legs and feet and the pain to walk was more than he could bear. (My dad later said it was like Chinese torture laying there- he had food and water, maybe 6 feet from him- he just could not get to it. ) I told Jackie obviously he needs to go to the hospital. there is no way I(with my slipped disc) or Jack & Jackie could get my dad to the hospital- so I called an ambulance. LONG story short- they finally get him to the hospital about 1:30 pm. He gets to the ER and it seems like forever until they let us see him. It was probably 2.5-3 hours. I know how long it takes to make an assessment, I couldn't figure out what was taking so long. But my dad is a hoarder- he smells yucky pretty much all the time- add to it he had been laying there for 3 days- he was not a pleasant picture when he came in. When they allowed us to see him, he didn't smell- except for the stench of his legs- GANGRENE. They spent A LOT of that time cleaning him- just so they could treat him. GOD BLESS THEM! We were told he would 100% chance lose his right leg and there was a 50% chance he would also lose his left leg- but that was being generous. They admitted him to the ICU- mega antibiotics, lots of wound care and basic rehydration. His blood sugar was 532, his kidneys had almost completely shut down, and he would likely lose his legs- but he chose to make that call- at some point- he CHOSE to live- that is vital.
*January 18- Dan's uncle(his mom's twin) had a stroke. He is expected to regain most of his previous abilities. This really has shaken Dan's mom- they are extremely close. I just love uncle Ed and I was beside myself that all off this was happening.
*January 20- my mom has surgery to repair a hernia. Our adopted sister(hi Kim!) was so good to her and us and took my mom to the hospital. She took off work for the day and stayed with us while we waited to hear how it all went. It was supposed to be a laparoscopy, and simple recovery. When they got in there things were a bit worse than they anticipated and they had to do a laparotomy instead to repair her hernia and remove the adhesions she had. This meant a longer hospital stay & bit of a harder recovery for mom. The plan was that she would come over here after she got out of the hospital and stay here for a few days.
*January 21- After days of antibiotics, wound cleanings and dressing changes, whirlpools and lots of narcotics for the pain, today my dad went for surgery on his legs. The plastic surgeon scoffed at him losing his legs. I admit he had great improvement with proper care- they ended up doing grafting- using cadavar skin to help his body heal up those sores. This I found out days late because I waited...and waited...and waited for the surgeon to come talk to us after the surgery- and he never showed up! But, he did save my dad's legs and instead of aggressively amputating, he is aggressively working to save them- so I forgive him. Dad remains in ICU.
*January 23- I go to a birthday party for my mom's best friend, Leona- Happy 65th birthday. Dan was unable to go. I was blessed with seeing Leona- it had been a couple of years and then I was also blessed to feed my baby love and hold my friend's granddaughter for most of the time I was there.
*January 24- my mom is released from the hospital. Shockingly (LOL- not!) she decided she felt good enough that she did not want to come to our house, she just wanted to go home. I guess she didn't think she would get much rest here? I think she made a good decision:) And then again, she chose our adopted sister, Kim to take her home. Sometimes I wonder if she likes her better. I think she really just wanted to give Kate & I a break after all that was going on with our dad. After so many of our friends and their kids coming down with the awful stomach bug going around I decided to stock up on insurance against the stomach bug- crackers, ginger ale, convenience foods, etc. This night we went out to dinner w/ dear friends to Amigo Joe's. It was so nice to have a little time to let down and I brought my mom over dinner when we were on our way home. Somehow when the kids and I walked in the door there was a Scrabble game starting up in our house! What? Its a Sunday night- tomorrow is school-whatever- who cares- our life has been so crazy, so hectic- lets just embrace a little us time and say screw the schedule! We played teams- Me & Beth, Dan & Gus, Grandma & Greg and Anne & Meg. We had a blast and we went to bed late, but just thankful to all be together. Stella starts feeling a bit warm and groggy- I chalk it up to the late schedule and put her to bed.
*January 25- Gus and Stella wake up with fevers. I think Beth was ill this day too. I thought oh great- now we are going to get the bug. Then the coughing started....
My dad gets moved out of the ICU onto the Med/Surg floor.
*January 26- I got the pleasure of spending the whole day (a good 5 hours at least) looking over Medicare part C policies and picking a new one for my dad.I call to check on my dad and let him know I found him a policy and I find out from his room mate that he is sleeping- they had given him blood that day and he wasn't responding well to it. I find an agent to help us sign him up and arrange that for the next morning. I call to check on my dad and let him know I found him a policy and I find out from his room mate that he is sleeping- they had given him blood that day and he wasn't responding well to it. Stella and Gus are still ill and laying around with low fevers, coughing, and resting.
*January 27- Get to the hospital to sign up my dad for this new Medicare part C, go over all of that with him. He signs the papers, etc and that goes smoothly. We meet with a bunch of doctors- they are ready to move him to rehab soon. The diabetic doctor tells us my dad has nine lives. The plastic surgeon tells us about the cadavar skin and how he needs to be seen in Senior care at least once per month once he is healed(more until he is fully healed). My dad goes for an endoscopy & colonoscopy to see where he is bleeding internally that his blood levels were low and he needed blood. they did find a small polyp that was bleeding, but nothing remarkable. They start the process to get him on to Rehab. I go to a local thrift store and buy him some clothes for his rehab time and head home. Stella has been laying on mom all day- coughing, miserable. Thank God we have Dan's mom with us- what would we do without her? Stella goes to bed at 6pm- unheard of for her!
*January 28- Stella cries out at about 6 am- I expected her to be improved after 12 hours of sleep- boy was I wrong! She was crying- a weak cry, eyes barely able to focus, occasionally coughing, not herself. Normally she sees daddy and all she wants is him- he lights up her world. Today she only wanted mommy- she was miserable. I hurry and get the kids off to school and quickly get over to the ER at St. Anthony's. I was there by 8:15am. They have a satellite Cardinal Glennon ER there- they are fab! They assess Stella- she is dehydrated, he oxygen saturations(will be called sats) were low- really low- 86 on room air when she was awake- which wasn't much, and as low as 80-82 when she was sleeping. Now due to her very large tonsils and sleep apnea- I have no idea how low she typically gets at night- I know I can not watch her sleep- it freaks me out. They do an Xray- they think she has pneumonia. They do blood her blood counts were all good and normal. They do give her a dose of Rocephin(IV antibiotic) before the blood work comes back. They think they are going to admit her. They give her some supplemental oxygen(which she hated) then her oxygen sats were 98-100%- which is what they should be... and we waited and waited. They said maybe if we give the Rocephin some time to work and keep her on the oxygen she will improve and we could take her home. We were there beyond the length of the shift. New ER doc comes in to assess her- takes off oxygen- she quickly goes back to 86 when awake. She then says- why don't we get an albuterol treatment on her- what could it hurt? After that(which, of course Stella hated) then the doc could hear wheezes! They did another treatment and then Stella was able to breathe! Her oygen sats were now 92-94% on room air! They gave her some juice(which she sucked down) and they prescribed Albuterol treatments every 3-4 hours, steroids- predisolone(they gave her a dose before we left). We took her home at about 8:15 pm- 12 hours in the ER- but YAY for ER docs who were cautious, and patient and helped us escape an admission :)
*January 29- Gus goes to school today. I think its questionable to send him, but he has missed all week. Stella is still a pretty limp rag and just lays around and nurses all the time and when she isn't nursing- she cries. Before this illness she was almost weaned. 10 am- School calls, Gus can't.stop.coughing. and they take his temp- its 101.5. I tell them I am coming to get him. He had already had breathing treatments that morning- I figured he had what Stella had and he needed to be seen ASAP. I call our pediatrician's office- he is not in the office that day. I figure we are back to the ER, when my guardian angel tells me to call Dr. Warrier- Gus' allergist. He is fabulous. They have an opening at 11:40am. I take a shower, pick Gus up from school(a miserable Stella in tow) and go to the doctor. Mega albuterol treatments, and prednisone for Gus. We come home and I collapse! The kids come home from school- Meg & Greg coughing- Greg with a raging fever- great! At times I had 4 kids back to back to back to back getting breathing treatments. At the first sign of coughing I just started giving Meg & Greg breathing treatments to try to help them fight this and keep them off steroids. This date happens to be the one year anniversary of us moving into this new house. Hard to believe it has only been a year- it feels longer! We had planned to celebrate and have a family over for dinner & games- but of course that got canceled- no body wanted what we have and they ended up with the stomach bug going around!
*January 30 & 31- I spent my whole days/nights listening to Stella cry mercilessly & constantly nursing- poor baby was miserable. Greg still had a high fever. Meg was fine(~whew!) Gus was much improved. I almost didn't make it to Mass on Sunday because I wasn't sure if I could leave Stella because of her crying. Luckily, my guardian angel helped me and I got her down for a nap. She slept so Dan could keep her so I could go to Mass- and what a great Mass it was. It was the gospel about the man who was hiring workers in the field- and even the ones who only worked one day recieved a full days wages. I used to think how unfair that was- until one day Dan told me to look at it like the person who converts on his deathbed getting the beauty of Heaven- just like the person who lived a good, holy life his whole life. Then I was able to embrace this story- in fact now its one of my favorites- it always makes me think of my dad- and my hope that he changes his heart toward God before his number is called. If Stella had been well, likely I would not have heard that gospel and remembered to offer up my Mass for my dad's conversion.
*February 1st- take Gus & Stella to the pediatrician- seems the prednisone was giving her horrible gas- that is why she had been crying for 2 days non stop- poor baby- it remionded me of her colic days :( Gus has a sinus infection- joy- antibiotics for him.
My mom is doing really well with her recovery :)
*February 2nd we get the word my dad is moving to Skilled Nursing Facility.
*February 3- My sister & I visit him at the new facility. He is really crabby this day. he does tell us that he expects to need to go to a Assisted living apartment when he leaves the rehab facility- he admits he will never go back to his house. I had taken Stella with us- that brightens his spirits some. I then later get a call from the administration that they think he is told he is too young to be in the skilled nursing part and they move him to the Rehab floor. They do PT & OT for at least an hour a day to start with. I think this is great.
If you made it through all of that- BRAVO! That's it- that's the update and where I have disappeared! Please keep praying for my dad and my mom, Uncle Ed and our families health. Oh, yes, now I am ill too- joy:/
*January 4- a Sunday I woke up in incredible pain. I have a slipped disc (between C4 & C5). I have been to the neurologist, the chiropractor (who rocks out loud, BTW),a nd been to weeks of physical therapy. It started in July 2009- by November I was mostly better, but I still occasionally have flares. This was one and it was the worst ever. It was Sunday and we were getting ready for Mass. I had no idea how I would make it through. Dan had to help me put on my shirt. As I sat to eat a bite before Mass I realised there was no way I could make it to Mass :(
*January 5- went to Chiropractor. After literally crying through Sunday, I went to see Dr. Mark Schisler(314-351-4803) and he adjusted me- sweet relief! God bless this man!
*January 6- took Stella to the ENT because she snores horribly. He is sending us for a sleep study(Feb.9) and she will likely have some sort of surgery. I know she has some Sleep Apnea, depending on how bad they find it to be, then they will determine a treatment plan- likely she will have her tonsils out which normally, not ill touch her uvula!
*January 7-8 Sweet Mercy! Snow days. I had so much fun with my kids. We watched movies, made crafts, made lots of jewelry, decorated gingerbread houses- oh how lovely!
*January 8- Gosserfest 2010- what a blast! It was so nice to go out and hang out with friends- some I hadn't seen in years. Isn't it amazing how even tho you can not even talk to some people for years you just seem to pick up just where you left off? (hi Jill & Jenny!) Back when I was a child my cousin Kay really annoyed me. Now she is a few years older than me so this could be a combo of her being in the midst of the teen years while I was observing her. She was always beautiful and confident, and for a girl with self esteem issues that is hard to take. And for years I thought she was superficial and kind of snotty. Then...something changed- I changed. I got married and had kids and found my own confidence and the years that separated us seemed to not matter anymore- and we have become friends. I love her, I enjoy her, we can hang out and drink wine together(white for her, red for me) or beer for her, wine for me:) What a blessing to find a friend in the family. Anyway, she was at Gosserfest and it was great to just BE and to hang out with everyone.
*January 9 I did something I never do. I took the kids swimming at the YMCA. I hate swimming- they all love it. I did it for them. I was so enjoying them the past few days and I was so appreciative of all the help they had given me cleaning up the house earlier in the day- I just wanted the party to continue- so much that Saturday night we had party food for dinner- BBQ smokies, Bagel bites, veggies & dip and of course, dessert
* Then January was its typical busy getting back into the routine after Dan is gone & back from drill, getting the kids back into their routines for school, and preparing for our trip to Arkansas to see our dear friends. I was going around for days cleaning like a mad woman( I hate coming home to a dirty,messy house), making sure there were meals for my mother in law (who lives with us in case anyone didn't know)- she was staying behind, and getting things and people packed(hello laundry) for our trip.
*January 16- I get a call from a friend's son asking if I can take him to Boys club that night- both of his parents were ill (http://catholicboysclub.or
** We were to leave Friday when the kids got home from school. I had been baking double chocolate dream cookies, I had chili in the crockpot so we could dine(in paper bowls and plastic spoons, no less) and dash off to Arkansas. Two batches of bread in the works- Whole Wheat and Challah. The whole day was just cruising by.... and then the phone rang.
*January 15- my dad's cousin calls. My dad and her husband, Jack, are buddies. Jack takes my dad shopping and they just chew the fat- they are very different from each other in many ways, but very alike. I am often very grateful that my dad has Jack. Anyway, Jack's wife- Jackie calls me and says " Your dad called for Jack and wanted him to being him some water- he has been without food and water for 3 days- what do you want to do?" My dad has diabetes- the reason he had been without food or water for 3 days was because he has horrible open sores on his legs and feet and the pain to walk was more than he could bear. (My dad later said it was like Chinese torture laying there- he had food and water, maybe 6 feet from him- he just could not get to it. ) I told Jackie obviously he needs to go to the hospital. there is no way I(with my slipped disc) or Jack & Jackie could get my dad to the hospital- so I called an ambulance. LONG story short- they finally get him to the hospital about 1:30 pm. He gets to the ER and it seems like forever until they let us see him. It was probably 2.5-3 hours. I know how long it takes to make an assessment, I couldn't figure out what was taking so long. But my dad is a hoarder- he smells yucky pretty much all the time- add to it he had been laying there for 3 days- he was not a pleasant picture when he came in. When they allowed us to see him, he didn't smell- except for the stench of his legs- GANGRENE. They spent A LOT of that time cleaning him- just so they could treat him. GOD BLESS THEM! We were told he would 100% chance lose his right leg and there was a 50% chance he would also lose his left leg- but that was being generous. They admitted him to the ICU- mega antibiotics, lots of wound care and basic rehydration. His blood sugar was 532, his kidneys had almost completely shut down, and he would likely lose his legs- but he chose to make that call- at some point- he CHOSE to live- that is vital.
*January 18- Dan's uncle(his mom's twin) had a stroke. He is expected to regain most of his previous abilities. This really has shaken Dan's mom- they are extremely close. I just love uncle Ed and I was beside myself that all off this was happening.
*January 20- my mom has surgery to repair a hernia. Our adopted sister(hi Kim!) was so good to her and us and took my mom to the hospital. She took off work for the day and stayed with us while we waited to hear how it all went. It was supposed to be a laparoscopy, and simple recovery. When they got in there things were a bit worse than they anticipated and they had to do a laparotomy instead to repair her hernia and remove the adhesions she had. This meant a longer hospital stay & bit of a harder recovery for mom. The plan was that she would come over here after she got out of the hospital and stay here for a few days.
*January 21- After days of antibiotics, wound cleanings and dressing changes, whirlpools and lots of narcotics for the pain, today my dad went for surgery on his legs. The plastic surgeon scoffed at him losing his legs. I admit he had great improvement with proper care- they ended up doing grafting- using cadavar skin to help his body heal up those sores. This I found out days late because I waited...and waited...and waited for the surgeon to come talk to us after the surgery- and he never showed up! But, he did save my dad's legs and instead of aggressively amputating, he is aggressively working to save them- so I forgive him. Dad remains in ICU.
*January 23- I go to a birthday party for my mom's best friend, Leona- Happy 65th birthday. Dan was unable to go. I was blessed with seeing Leona- it had been a couple of years and then I was also blessed to feed my baby love and hold my friend's granddaughter for most of the time I was there.
*January 24- my mom is released from the hospital. Shockingly (LOL- not!) she decided she felt good enough that she did not want to come to our house, she just wanted to go home. I guess she didn't think she would get much rest here? I think she made a good decision:) And then again, she chose our adopted sister, Kim to take her home. Sometimes I wonder if she likes her better. I think she really just wanted to give Kate & I a break after all that was going on with our dad. After so many of our friends and their kids coming down with the awful stomach bug going around I decided to stock up on insurance against the stomach bug- crackers, ginger ale, convenience foods, etc. This night we went out to dinner w/ dear friends to Amigo Joe's. It was so nice to have a little time to let down and I brought my mom over dinner when we were on our way home. Somehow when the kids and I walked in the door there was a Scrabble game starting up in our house! What? Its a Sunday night- tomorrow is school-whatever- who cares- our life has been so crazy, so hectic- lets just embrace a little us time and say screw the schedule! We played teams- Me & Beth, Dan & Gus, Grandma & Greg and Anne & Meg. We had a blast and we went to bed late, but just thankful to all be together. Stella starts feeling a bit warm and groggy- I chalk it up to the late schedule and put her to bed.
*January 25- Gus and Stella wake up with fevers. I think Beth was ill this day too. I thought oh great- now we are going to get the bug. Then the coughing started....
My dad gets moved out of the ICU onto the Med/Surg floor.
*January 26- I got the pleasure of spending the whole day (a good 5 hours at least) looking over Medicare part C policies and picking a new one for my dad.I call to check on my dad and let him know I found him a policy and I find out from his room mate that he is sleeping- they had given him blood that day and he wasn't responding well to it. I find an agent to help us sign him up and arrange that for the next morning. I call to check on my dad and let him know I found him a policy and I find out from his room mate that he is sleeping- they had given him blood that day and he wasn't responding well to it. Stella and Gus are still ill and laying around with low fevers, coughing, and resting.
*January 27- Get to the hospital to sign up my dad for this new Medicare part C, go over all of that with him. He signs the papers, etc and that goes smoothly. We meet with a bunch of doctors- they are ready to move him to rehab soon. The diabetic doctor tells us my dad has nine lives. The plastic surgeon tells us about the cadavar skin and how he needs to be seen in Senior care at least once per month once he is healed(more until he is fully healed). My dad goes for an endoscopy & colonoscopy to see where he is bleeding internally that his blood levels were low and he needed blood. they did find a small polyp that was bleeding, but nothing remarkable. They start the process to get him on to Rehab. I go to a local thrift store and buy him some clothes for his rehab time and head home. Stella has been laying on mom all day- coughing, miserable. Thank God we have Dan's mom with us- what would we do without her? Stella goes to bed at 6pm- unheard of for her!
*January 28- Stella cries out at about 6 am- I expected her to be improved after 12 hours of sleep- boy was I wrong! She was crying- a weak cry, eyes barely able to focus, occasionally coughing, not herself. Normally she sees daddy and all she wants is him- he lights up her world. Today she only wanted mommy- she was miserable. I hurry and get the kids off to school and quickly get over to the ER at St. Anthony's. I was there by 8:15am. They have a satellite Cardinal Glennon ER there- they are fab! They assess Stella- she is dehydrated, he oxygen saturations(will be called sats) were low- really low- 86 on room air when she was awake- which wasn't much, and as low as 80-82 when she was sleeping. Now due to her very large tonsils and sleep apnea- I have no idea how low she typically gets at night- I know I can not watch her sleep- it freaks me out. They do an Xray- they think she has pneumonia. They do blood her blood counts were all good and normal. They do give her a dose of Rocephin(IV antibiotic) before the blood work comes back. They think they are going to admit her. They give her some supplemental oxygen(which she hated) then her oxygen sats were 98-100%- which is what they should be... and we waited and waited. They said maybe if we give the Rocephin some time to work and keep her on the oxygen she will improve and we could take her home. We were there beyond the length of the shift. New ER doc comes in to assess her- takes off oxygen- she quickly goes back to 86 when awake. She then says- why don't we get an albuterol treatment on her- what could it hurt? After that(which, of course Stella hated) then the doc could hear wheezes! They did another treatment and then Stella was able to breathe! Her oygen sats were now 92-94% on room air! They gave her some juice(which she sucked down) and they prescribed Albuterol treatments every 3-4 hours, steroids- predisolone(they gave her a dose before we left). We took her home at about 8:15 pm- 12 hours in the ER- but YAY for ER docs who were cautious, and patient and helped us escape an admission :)
*January 29- Gus goes to school today. I think its questionable to send him, but he has missed all week. Stella is still a pretty limp rag and just lays around and nurses all the time and when she isn't nursing- she cries. Before this illness she was almost weaned. 10 am- School calls, Gus can't.stop.coughing. and they take his temp- its 101.5. I tell them I am coming to get him. He had already had breathing treatments that morning- I figured he had what Stella had and he needed to be seen ASAP. I call our pediatrician's office- he is not in the office that day. I figure we are back to the ER, when my guardian angel tells me to call Dr. Warrier- Gus' allergist. He is fabulous. They have an opening at 11:40am. I take a shower, pick Gus up from school(a miserable Stella in tow) and go to the doctor. Mega albuterol treatments, and prednisone for Gus. We come home and I collapse! The kids come home from school- Meg & Greg coughing- Greg with a raging fever- great! At times I had 4 kids back to back to back to back getting breathing treatments. At the first sign of coughing I just started giving Meg & Greg breathing treatments to try to help them fight this and keep them off steroids. This date happens to be the one year anniversary of us moving into this new house. Hard to believe it has only been a year- it feels longer! We had planned to celebrate and have a family over for dinner & games- but of course that got canceled- no body wanted what we have and they ended up with the stomach bug going around!
*January 30 & 31- I spent my whole days/nights listening to Stella cry mercilessly & constantly nursing- poor baby was miserable. Greg still had a high fever. Meg was fine(~whew!) Gus was much improved. I almost didn't make it to Mass on Sunday because I wasn't sure if I could leave Stella because of her crying. Luckily, my guardian angel helped me and I got her down for a nap. She slept so Dan could keep her so I could go to Mass- and what a great Mass it was. It was the gospel about the man who was hiring workers in the field- and even the ones who only worked one day recieved a full days wages. I used to think how unfair that was- until one day Dan told me to look at it like the person who converts on his deathbed getting the beauty of Heaven- just like the person who lived a good, holy life his whole life. Then I was able to embrace this story- in fact now its one of my favorites- it always makes me think of my dad- and my hope that he changes his heart toward God before his number is called. If Stella had been well, likely I would not have heard that gospel and remembered to offer up my Mass for my dad's conversion.
*February 1st- take Gus & Stella to the pediatrician- seems the prednisone was giving her horrible gas- that is why she had been crying for 2 days non stop- poor baby- it remionded me of her colic days :( Gus has a sinus infection- joy- antibiotics for him.
My mom is doing really well with her recovery :)
*February 2nd we get the word my dad is moving to Skilled Nursing Facility.
*February 3- My sister & I visit him at the new facility. He is really crabby this day. he does tell us that he expects to need to go to a Assisted living apartment when he leaves the rehab facility- he admits he will never go back to his house. I had taken Stella with us- that brightens his spirits some. I then later get a call from the administration that they think he is told he is too young to be in the skilled nursing part and they move him to the Rehab floor. They do PT & OT for at least an hour a day to start with. I think this is great.
If you made it through all of that- BRAVO! That's it- that's the update and where I have disappeared! Please keep praying for my dad and my mom, Uncle Ed and our families health. Oh, yes, now I am ill too- joy:/
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A star is born!
Stella Maria Dolorosa
Such a big name for such a small baby! In the fall of 2006, Dan and I felt called to have another baby- someone was missing from our family. We tried for close to six months to conceive, but it never happened. This was strange for me because we had always been very fertile. We had 7 pregnancies and 5 live births in the first 8 years of our marriage.
January of 2007 I was very excited to find myself pregnant. We were overcome with joy and awe at being blessed by God again to love a new soul. Sadly that baby was lost in an early miscarriage. We named him John because just as Elizabeth was thought to be infertile, she was blessed when least expected. My grief was great, but I had hope that we would one day conceive again My heart was bursting with joy when in March of 2007 I was pregnant again Sadly, that soul too, was taken from us by an early miscarriage. We named that baby Isaac because like Abraham, we would accept God’s will no matter how much we didn’t want to, we most wanted to be obedient. My grief and sorrow at this point was overwhelming. Maybe God really wasn’t calling us to have another baby? I began praying for Our Lady of Sorrows to intercede for me. When I would despair, I would try to unite my sufferings with what she must have felt to see her son tortured, killed and buried Everyday my children prayed that we would get to have another baby.
In May of 2007 dear friends of ours invited us to go on a pilgrimage with them to a local shrine named Starkenburg. We agreed, as we always try to make a pilgrimage in the month of May. When we arrived at the Shrine I realized from reading the sign that Starkenburg is a shrine to Our Lady of Sorrows. Our dear friends had no idea of my despair, or my begging Our lady of Sorrows to intercede on my behalf. None the less when I saw it was a shrine to Our Lady of Sorrows, I felt a reflex of being kicked in the gut- it just was not something I expected. I, of course didn’t blame them, there was no way for them to know, or anyone for that matter. While we were visiting this holy place we stopped in all of the chapels. I believe there are five. But only one had the Blessed Sacrament present. I prayed at that chapel for me and all of my dear friends who have lost babies before they were born, that they would be comforted. I prayed for all of those who were trying to conceive, that they would be blessed. And I prayed that if we were blessed again, that the baby would grow and live with us as part of our family. Five days later I got a positive pregnancy test! We told the children at 8 weeks into the pregnancy that we were expecting another baby. They were over the moon excited and they prayed every night at bedtime prayers “that the baby in mommy’s belly doesn’t die”.
After my C-section with Greg ,my fifth C-section, our doctor told us that my uterus was extremely thin. It was a healthy non pregnant uterus, but in its pregnant state it could be dangerous if I were to rupture. Despite that, he did not tell us to not have any more babies, or not to get pregnant. He told us we should plan for extended bedrest( I was put on bedrest with Greg at 26 weeks), and a premature baby who would spend time in the NICU. We used NFP to avoid conception for 3+ years before trying to conceive another baby, then used NFP to try to conceive.
In Stella’s pregnancy I was riddled with fear and anxiety that I would lose the baby. I went in for 3 ultrasounds before I was even 8 weeks along! Fear is not from God, I kept telling myself. But my faith was weak. I finally bought a fetal doppler to keep at home so I could hear the baby’s heartbeat at a moment’s notice to relieve my anxiety. I started having contractions pretty early in my pregnancy. By 19 weeks I was receiving weekly shots of progesterone, which helped tremendously to slow down the contractions! Dr. Dixon was monitoring me very closely. The statistics for uterine rupture are fairly grave. If I were to rupture there is a 30% mortality rate for me, and 70% for the baby. I stopped exercising at 22 weeks, due to the increase in contractions I would have with any activity.
At our 20 week ultrasound we learned that the baby was a girl. I was shocked. I had such a strong feeling the baby was a boy, although I had had two dreams that the baby was a girl. Dan and I discussed names a lot, even before we were pregnant. This baby was almost a bunch of other names, but God used a friend of ours to help us name this little girl. My dear friend Ann came over shortly after our ultrasound and of course we discussed names. She knew about our pilgrimage and suggested Delores. She has an aunt Delores whom she dearly loves and it means sorrow- like Our lady of Sorrows Dan and I prayed and discerned a name for our baby and were led to name her : Stella Maria Dolorosa which is Spanish for : Star of Our Lady of Sorrows.
In December as the baby grew, my contractions steadily increased. On December 17th, Dr. Dixon put me on full bedrest. I felt so blessed that I had made it to 32 weeks just being on modified bed rest. My sister had been living in Chicago the last few years. In November she had moved back and she was still job hunting when I was put on bedrest. She stepped in for our family and became the mother to 5 small children. She took them to school, picked them up, helped with homework, made meals, bathed them, did their laundry, did housecleaning and shopping. Words can not express my gratitude or how loved I felt by her cheerful and willing spirit. I took bedrest very seriously and was doing well. Christmas was my first visit to the first floor of my house since the 17th. Our parish has a wonderful group of women whose ministry is to bring meals to families during bereavement, or when a mom has a new baby. They also provided meals to our family while I was on full bedrest. What a wonderful blessing to have others take such a burden off your shoulders in time of need.! My aunt and a few close friends also helped with meals and running errands for us during this time. I was recently reminded that being pro-life isn't just about being against abortion, it is about supporting those who choose life, those with small children, those in need.
On December 27th I had an OB appointment. This was the first real activity I had done since the 17th when I was confined to my bed. I started having lots of contractions due to the increased activity. Finally, I was allowed to go home, but warned that if the contractions got worse, or I had an increase in pain that I was to return or call. By the time I got to my car in the parking lot, I was in pain. I thought I really just needed to get home and rest. I did rest, but the pain increased. Dan and I almost went in to labor and delivery during the middle of the night, but decided to try to rest and see what morning would bring. The next morning, December 28th, we called Dr. Dixon and told him our status. We were told to come into labor and delivery to be monitored. As much as I hated that idea, I wanted to do what was right for our baby. I was monitored all day and Dr. Dixon dropped the bomb on me that I would spend the rest of my pregnancy right there in the hospital. I was 34 weeks and a couple days at that point, which meant I would be there either a matter of days, up to six weeks. We continued to pray.
My pain did not go away. We all knew that I was a time bomb, so to speak, and that at any point I could rupture and one or both of us could die if I did. On December 29 we spoke with a neonatal nurse practitioner about what we could expect if we had a baby who was born at 34 weeks gestation. We had always expected a baby in the NICU, our last 3 had been there too though they were a few weeks further along at birth. She started to speak about a mom she saw that ruptured at a local hospital, but she never finished, her face just turned grey. At that point I said, let’s do it. Right now we have a healthy mom and a healthy baby and let’s not sit on this time bomb any longer. Dr. Dixon agreed. He prayed with us and we proceeded to do the necessary preparations for my C-section.
It was the most peaceful C-section I had ever had. I had no nausea, no anxiety, just peace. When Dr. Dixon got to the point of opening my uterus, he was able to do so with his gloved finger. He said that there was just a membrane over the baby, about the size of a half dollar where the uterus was quite thin. He proceeded to open the uterus with the scissors. Stella Maria Dolorosa was born at 12:20 pm on December 29, 2007. She weighed 5 lbs. 15 ounces and was 18.5 inches long- a good size for a baby born at 34 weeks and 4 days old. They wiped her off and she cried that beautiful newborn cry that is a comfort to a mother’s ears. For a premature baby she did quite well. They brought her over to me to see,and to kiss, she was so beautiful. I was so thankful to Our Lady for holding my hand through this journey. Little did I know that I would still be calling on her for comfort.
That night I was so overcome with gratitude I couldn’t sleep. I was quite tired, but on a high! I spent most of the night in prayer thanking God for a doctor who is prayerful.Thanking God for my awesome labor and delivery nurse who was so kind and compassionate to me. Thanking God for our conversation with the neonatal nurse practioner who tipped the scales for me. Thanking God for this beautiful miracle placed in my arms. Thankful to Our Lady for interceding on my behalf.
Stella was started on oxygen, then placed under a hood to help her body absorb the oxygen better.. Her breathing became labored and they placed her on nasal CPAP to help push the alveoli of her lungs open. Overnight they intubated her(put her on a ventilator), so that they could give her a special medicine called surfactant. She tolerated it so well, she was extubated by early morning While in the NICU she was followed by a neonatologist, Dr. Brooker. On his initial assessment he heard a heart murmur. Many newborns have one, but it usually resolves within a day or two after birth. Stella’s murmur was not resolving, if anything it was seeming more pronounced. He ordered an echcardiogram of her heart. ( ultrasound of the heart) A cardiologist at Cardinal Glennon children’s hospital read the echo and Stella was diagnosed with “pulmonary valve stenosis”. They wanted her transferred immediately to Cardinal Glennon, and she would likely undergo a cardiac cath on her the next day. This was January 1st. I was a complete basket case. I had Dr. Dixon discharge me a day early, so I could go be with my baby. I once again prayed for Our Lady of Sorrows to intercede for us, I needed a miracle for our baby.
The NICU at Cardinal Glennon was wonderful. I knew our daughter was in the best hands. Being that the 1st is a Holy Day of Obligation, Dan, his mom, Anne, Beth and Gus went to Mass at our parish at 5pm. They brought back to the hospital with them Father Avis who baptized Stella that night. She was baptized with just the essential parts on this day and the rest of the rite would be done at a later date. The next morning I returned to the hospital to be with Stella. In the morning of January 2nd she was given another echocardiogram before her cardiac cath. While waiting for the results, right there in Stella’s room, I started bleeding, profusely. I was very scared. I did not want to leave my baby, but I was bleeding all over. I called Dan. He picked me up, we went by our house so I could clean up a little and grab a bite to eat before we went to Dr. Dixon’s office.
We were greeted with terrible news. A couple of my stitches had come out, and a blood clot had formed under my incision area. Dr. Dixon tried to fix me in his office, but there was no way he could. I needed to go back to surgery and due to that bite of lunch I grabbed on my way to his office, my surgery would be delayed until the evening, as they won’t operate on you until you have had no food or water for eight hours. I had Dan take me over to the hospital and help me get checked in, then I sent him to be with our baby. It would be hours before I would be in surgery and I wanted one of us with her. While I waited at St. Anthony’s, Dan visited Stella at Cardinal Glennon. When he got there he was greeted with wonderful news! The follow up echocardiogram showed the pulmonary valve stenosis to be minor now. So minor she would not have to go under anesthesia, and not have to have a cardiac cath! It was a miracle. A day ago it was severe enough that they would do the cath the next day, now they say she will never need it. We call this the miracle of Stella’s baptism! She was healed enough to not need surgery at 4 days old anymore! Maybe some day when she gets older, but not now! Dan was able to hold her and they started feeding her my pumped milk.
Dan returned to St. Anthony’s and gave me the good news about our baby girl. I had surgery at about 10 pm. It took about an hour. Dr. Dixon’s plan was to remove staples until he found the clot, he did this until they were all removed. A lot of blood had pooled in the incisional area and he cleaned me out. I requested before surgery that if at all possible I did not want staples, but to be stitched closed this time. He saw that my fascia and uterus were fine, cleaned me and sewed me closed. I spent the night at St. Anthony’s. The next day, January 3rd, after discharge, I went straight to Cardinal Glennon and held my baby and nursed her for the first time- she was a wonderful nurser from the beginning, especially considering that she was premature. I really had wanted to stay for a second feeding, but I was feeling quite lousy at this point. Dan took me home. I was so comforted that at this point when I felt so bad my baby was in the absolute best care possible. My pain was unbearable and I had Dan use the wheelchair to help me get from the van to my bed! I don’t think I have ever been in so much pain. When we were leaving Cardinal Glennon that day they told us to bring her carseat with us the next day.
When we came on Friday, January 4th, we brought the carseat. They do a test before discharge to make sure the baby can tolerate the angle of the carseat without any breathing problems or a decrease in heart rate. I nursed her a couple of times and then went home to rest. We did not tell the children that their baby sister would be coming home the next day. If there was some delay we didn’t want them to be disappointed! On Saturday, January 5th, 2008 we brought Stella home. Everyone was so excited to meet her. I let my sister, Kate, be the first to hold her. She had earned that at least with all she was doing for our family so selflessly! Everyone washed hands and took turns holding this precious miracle that we had long prayed for.
My recovery has been quite slow. I was warned if I were to break open again I would have wet to dry dressings for the next 8 weeks. I was put, again, on full bedrest. I was only allowed to go upstairs once per day. I really missed seeing my children and helping them with their homework and being there for their playtime. But I was so weak I had no choice. Stella is doing wonderfully. She is a happy, content baby. She had a follow up cardiology appointment a week after she left the hospital. They did another echocardiogram and she has continued to improve. They now think she will never have to have cardiac cath. The miracle of her conception, birth and baptism continue to amaze me. We plan to do the rest of her baptism on the first Saturday of April. (the 5th)
Such a big name for such a small baby! In the fall of 2006, Dan and I felt called to have another baby- someone was missing from our family. We tried for close to six months to conceive, but it never happened. This was strange for me because we had always been very fertile. We had 7 pregnancies and 5 live births in the first 8 years of our marriage.
January of 2007 I was very excited to find myself pregnant. We were overcome with joy and awe at being blessed by God again to love a new soul. Sadly that baby was lost in an early miscarriage. We named him John because just as Elizabeth was thought to be infertile, she was blessed when least expected. My grief was great, but I had hope that we would one day conceive again My heart was bursting with joy when in March of 2007 I was pregnant again Sadly, that soul too, was taken from us by an early miscarriage. We named that baby Isaac because like Abraham, we would accept God’s will no matter how much we didn’t want to, we most wanted to be obedient. My grief and sorrow at this point was overwhelming. Maybe God really wasn’t calling us to have another baby? I began praying for Our Lady of Sorrows to intercede for me. When I would despair, I would try to unite my sufferings with what she must have felt to see her son tortured, killed and buried Everyday my children prayed that we would get to have another baby.
In May of 2007 dear friends of ours invited us to go on a pilgrimage with them to a local shrine named Starkenburg. We agreed, as we always try to make a pilgrimage in the month of May. When we arrived at the Shrine I realized from reading the sign that Starkenburg is a shrine to Our Lady of Sorrows. Our dear friends had no idea of my despair, or my begging Our lady of Sorrows to intercede on my behalf. None the less when I saw it was a shrine to Our Lady of Sorrows, I felt a reflex of being kicked in the gut- it just was not something I expected. I, of course didn’t blame them, there was no way for them to know, or anyone for that matter. While we were visiting this holy place we stopped in all of the chapels. I believe there are five. But only one had the Blessed Sacrament present. I prayed at that chapel for me and all of my dear friends who have lost babies before they were born, that they would be comforted. I prayed for all of those who were trying to conceive, that they would be blessed. And I prayed that if we were blessed again, that the baby would grow and live with us as part of our family. Five days later I got a positive pregnancy test! We told the children at 8 weeks into the pregnancy that we were expecting another baby. They were over the moon excited and they prayed every night at bedtime prayers “that the baby in mommy’s belly doesn’t die”.
After my C-section with Greg ,my fifth C-section, our doctor told us that my uterus was extremely thin. It was a healthy non pregnant uterus, but in its pregnant state it could be dangerous if I were to rupture. Despite that, he did not tell us to not have any more babies, or not to get pregnant. He told us we should plan for extended bedrest( I was put on bedrest with Greg at 26 weeks), and a premature baby who would spend time in the NICU. We used NFP to avoid conception for 3+ years before trying to conceive another baby, then used NFP to try to conceive.
In Stella’s pregnancy I was riddled with fear and anxiety that I would lose the baby. I went in for 3 ultrasounds before I was even 8 weeks along! Fear is not from God, I kept telling myself. But my faith was weak. I finally bought a fetal doppler to keep at home so I could hear the baby’s heartbeat at a moment’s notice to relieve my anxiety. I started having contractions pretty early in my pregnancy. By 19 weeks I was receiving weekly shots of progesterone, which helped tremendously to slow down the contractions! Dr. Dixon was monitoring me very closely. The statistics for uterine rupture are fairly grave. If I were to rupture there is a 30% mortality rate for me, and 70% for the baby. I stopped exercising at 22 weeks, due to the increase in contractions I would have with any activity.
At our 20 week ultrasound we learned that the baby was a girl. I was shocked. I had such a strong feeling the baby was a boy, although I had had two dreams that the baby was a girl. Dan and I discussed names a lot, even before we were pregnant. This baby was almost a bunch of other names, but God used a friend of ours to help us name this little girl. My dear friend Ann came over shortly after our ultrasound and of course we discussed names. She knew about our pilgrimage and suggested Delores. She has an aunt Delores whom she dearly loves and it means sorrow- like Our lady of Sorrows Dan and I prayed and discerned a name for our baby and were led to name her : Stella Maria Dolorosa which is Spanish for : Star of Our Lady of Sorrows.
In December as the baby grew, my contractions steadily increased. On December 17th, Dr. Dixon put me on full bedrest. I felt so blessed that I had made it to 32 weeks just being on modified bed rest. My sister had been living in Chicago the last few years. In November she had moved back and she was still job hunting when I was put on bedrest. She stepped in for our family and became the mother to 5 small children. She took them to school, picked them up, helped with homework, made meals, bathed them, did their laundry, did housecleaning and shopping. Words can not express my gratitude or how loved I felt by her cheerful and willing spirit. I took bedrest very seriously and was doing well. Christmas was my first visit to the first floor of my house since the 17th. Our parish has a wonderful group of women whose ministry is to bring meals to families during bereavement, or when a mom has a new baby. They also provided meals to our family while I was on full bedrest. What a wonderful blessing to have others take such a burden off your shoulders in time of need.! My aunt and a few close friends also helped with meals and running errands for us during this time. I was recently reminded that being pro-life isn't just about being against abortion, it is about supporting those who choose life, those with small children, those in need.
On December 27th I had an OB appointment. This was the first real activity I had done since the 17th when I was confined to my bed. I started having lots of contractions due to the increased activity. Finally, I was allowed to go home, but warned that if the contractions got worse, or I had an increase in pain that I was to return or call. By the time I got to my car in the parking lot, I was in pain. I thought I really just needed to get home and rest. I did rest, but the pain increased. Dan and I almost went in to labor and delivery during the middle of the night, but decided to try to rest and see what morning would bring. The next morning, December 28th, we called Dr. Dixon and told him our status. We were told to come into labor and delivery to be monitored. As much as I hated that idea, I wanted to do what was right for our baby. I was monitored all day and Dr. Dixon dropped the bomb on me that I would spend the rest of my pregnancy right there in the hospital. I was 34 weeks and a couple days at that point, which meant I would be there either a matter of days, up to six weeks. We continued to pray.
My pain did not go away. We all knew that I was a time bomb, so to speak, and that at any point I could rupture and one or both of us could die if I did. On December 29 we spoke with a neonatal nurse practitioner about what we could expect if we had a baby who was born at 34 weeks gestation. We had always expected a baby in the NICU, our last 3 had been there too though they were a few weeks further along at birth. She started to speak about a mom she saw that ruptured at a local hospital, but she never finished, her face just turned grey. At that point I said, let’s do it. Right now we have a healthy mom and a healthy baby and let’s not sit on this time bomb any longer. Dr. Dixon agreed. He prayed with us and we proceeded to do the necessary preparations for my C-section.
It was the most peaceful C-section I had ever had. I had no nausea, no anxiety, just peace. When Dr. Dixon got to the point of opening my uterus, he was able to do so with his gloved finger. He said that there was just a membrane over the baby, about the size of a half dollar where the uterus was quite thin. He proceeded to open the uterus with the scissors. Stella Maria Dolorosa was born at 12:20 pm on December 29, 2007. She weighed 5 lbs. 15 ounces and was 18.5 inches long- a good size for a baby born at 34 weeks and 4 days old. They wiped her off and she cried that beautiful newborn cry that is a comfort to a mother’s ears. For a premature baby she did quite well. They brought her over to me to see,and to kiss, she was so beautiful. I was so thankful to Our Lady for holding my hand through this journey. Little did I know that I would still be calling on her for comfort.
That night I was so overcome with gratitude I couldn’t sleep. I was quite tired, but on a high! I spent most of the night in prayer thanking God for a doctor who is prayerful.Thanking God for my awesome labor and delivery nurse who was so kind and compassionate to me. Thanking God for our conversation with the neonatal nurse practioner who tipped the scales for me. Thanking God for this beautiful miracle placed in my arms. Thankful to Our Lady for interceding on my behalf.
Stella was started on oxygen, then placed under a hood to help her body absorb the oxygen better.. Her breathing became labored and they placed her on nasal CPAP to help push the alveoli of her lungs open. Overnight they intubated her(put her on a ventilator), so that they could give her a special medicine called surfactant. She tolerated it so well, she was extubated by early morning While in the NICU she was followed by a neonatologist, Dr. Brooker. On his initial assessment he heard a heart murmur. Many newborns have one, but it usually resolves within a day or two after birth. Stella’s murmur was not resolving, if anything it was seeming more pronounced. He ordered an echcardiogram of her heart. ( ultrasound of the heart) A cardiologist at Cardinal Glennon children’s hospital read the echo and Stella was diagnosed with “pulmonary valve stenosis”. They wanted her transferred immediately to Cardinal Glennon, and she would likely undergo a cardiac cath on her the next day. This was January 1st. I was a complete basket case. I had Dr. Dixon discharge me a day early, so I could go be with my baby. I once again prayed for Our Lady of Sorrows to intercede for us, I needed a miracle for our baby.
The NICU at Cardinal Glennon was wonderful. I knew our daughter was in the best hands. Being that the 1st is a Holy Day of Obligation, Dan, his mom, Anne, Beth and Gus went to Mass at our parish at 5pm. They brought back to the hospital with them Father Avis who baptized Stella that night. She was baptized with just the essential parts on this day and the rest of the rite would be done at a later date. The next morning I returned to the hospital to be with Stella. In the morning of January 2nd she was given another echocardiogram before her cardiac cath. While waiting for the results, right there in Stella’s room, I started bleeding, profusely. I was very scared. I did not want to leave my baby, but I was bleeding all over. I called Dan. He picked me up, we went by our house so I could clean up a little and grab a bite to eat before we went to Dr. Dixon’s office.
We were greeted with terrible news. A couple of my stitches had come out, and a blood clot had formed under my incision area. Dr. Dixon tried to fix me in his office, but there was no way he could. I needed to go back to surgery and due to that bite of lunch I grabbed on my way to his office, my surgery would be delayed until the evening, as they won’t operate on you until you have had no food or water for eight hours. I had Dan take me over to the hospital and help me get checked in, then I sent him to be with our baby. It would be hours before I would be in surgery and I wanted one of us with her. While I waited at St. Anthony’s, Dan visited Stella at Cardinal Glennon. When he got there he was greeted with wonderful news! The follow up echocardiogram showed the pulmonary valve stenosis to be minor now. So minor she would not have to go under anesthesia, and not have to have a cardiac cath! It was a miracle. A day ago it was severe enough that they would do the cath the next day, now they say she will never need it. We call this the miracle of Stella’s baptism! She was healed enough to not need surgery at 4 days old anymore! Maybe some day when she gets older, but not now! Dan was able to hold her and they started feeding her my pumped milk.
Dan returned to St. Anthony’s and gave me the good news about our baby girl. I had surgery at about 10 pm. It took about an hour. Dr. Dixon’s plan was to remove staples until he found the clot, he did this until they were all removed. A lot of blood had pooled in the incisional area and he cleaned me out. I requested before surgery that if at all possible I did not want staples, but to be stitched closed this time. He saw that my fascia and uterus were fine, cleaned me and sewed me closed. I spent the night at St. Anthony’s. The next day, January 3rd, after discharge, I went straight to Cardinal Glennon and held my baby and nursed her for the first time- she was a wonderful nurser from the beginning, especially considering that she was premature. I really had wanted to stay for a second feeding, but I was feeling quite lousy at this point. Dan took me home. I was so comforted that at this point when I felt so bad my baby was in the absolute best care possible. My pain was unbearable and I had Dan use the wheelchair to help me get from the van to my bed! I don’t think I have ever been in so much pain. When we were leaving Cardinal Glennon that day they told us to bring her carseat with us the next day.
When we came on Friday, January 4th, we brought the carseat. They do a test before discharge to make sure the baby can tolerate the angle of the carseat without any breathing problems or a decrease in heart rate. I nursed her a couple of times and then went home to rest. We did not tell the children that their baby sister would be coming home the next day. If there was some delay we didn’t want them to be disappointed! On Saturday, January 5th, 2008 we brought Stella home. Everyone was so excited to meet her. I let my sister, Kate, be the first to hold her. She had earned that at least with all she was doing for our family so selflessly! Everyone washed hands and took turns holding this precious miracle that we had long prayed for.
My recovery has been quite slow. I was warned if I were to break open again I would have wet to dry dressings for the next 8 weeks. I was put, again, on full bedrest. I was only allowed to go upstairs once per day. I really missed seeing my children and helping them with their homework and being there for their playtime. But I was so weak I had no choice. Stella is doing wonderfully. She is a happy, content baby. She had a follow up cardiology appointment a week after she left the hospital. They did another echocardiogram and she has continued to improve. They now think she will never have to have cardiac cath. The miracle of her conception, birth and baptism continue to amaze me. We plan to do the rest of her baptism on the first Saturday of April. (the 5th)
Monday, March 27, 2006
March going out like a Lion
Well, let's see. Today Gus & Meg started Kindergaten. They were very excited and didn't want to stop :) That makes every home educator so happy.
Russ is coming home from the Rehab unit on Thursday. We aren't really sure how that is going to all pan out. They tell us that is is now not at all ambulatory, and completely incontinent. I am going this afternoon to acess him for myself. This will be the first time I will have seen him in week, due to an outbreak of shingles. Thankfully, they are now gone, with only a small amount of residual pain, which I hope will go away with a little more time.
Please continue to pray to Saint Joseph to help sell our house on Itaska. Everyone who goes through it says it is beautiful, very clean and that they don't think it will last long. I hope this can really bless some family, and very soon!
Russ is coming home from the Rehab unit on Thursday. We aren't really sure how that is going to all pan out. They tell us that is is now not at all ambulatory, and completely incontinent. I am going this afternoon to acess him for myself. This will be the first time I will have seen him in week, due to an outbreak of shingles. Thankfully, they are now gone, with only a small amount of residual pain, which I hope will go away with a little more time.
Please continue to pray to Saint Joseph to help sell our house on Itaska. Everyone who goes through it says it is beautiful, very clean and that they don't think it will last long. I hope this can really bless some family, and very soon!
Friday, March 03, 2006
~Whew! We've moved! & Russ is in the hospital :(
What a whirlwind life we are leading right now. We closed on our new house on February 13th. Our packers came on February 14th, to pack up Itaska, and the movers came on the 15th. Today is March 3rd and a little over two weeks later. We are almost completely unpacked. No one would believe we have only lived here two weeks- and this so feels like home. Our Itaska house is on the market, so please pray that it sells quickly and for a fair price.
Now the sad news- Dan's Dad, Russ, has in recent days been falling more and more for no apparent reason. The other day he fell hard and landed on his shoulder. I was giving him Motrin for the pain, but it just wasn't cutting it. So yesterday at about 12:30 pm I took Dad to Saint Anthony's Medical Center and we waited, and waited and waited. Finally around 3 pm we were seen by a doctor. They did lots of blood work, a urinalysis, Xrays and a CT scan. Everything was healthy and normal except he has 3 broken ribs :( They are keeping him for pain management, but also when he's doped up on the meds I don't quite know if we could handle him at home without help.
The next few days should be interesting. I'll try to keep everyone updated through the Blog. Prayers for a fast recovery for Dad would be much appreciated. And a special prayer for my mom who pitches in at a moments notice to help out all the time would also be appreciated.
Now the sad news- Dan's Dad, Russ, has in recent days been falling more and more for no apparent reason. The other day he fell hard and landed on his shoulder. I was giving him Motrin for the pain, but it just wasn't cutting it. So yesterday at about 12:30 pm I took Dad to Saint Anthony's Medical Center and we waited, and waited and waited. Finally around 3 pm we were seen by a doctor. They did lots of blood work, a urinalysis, Xrays and a CT scan. Everything was healthy and normal except he has 3 broken ribs :( They are keeping him for pain management, but also when he's doped up on the meds I don't quite know if we could handle him at home without help.
The next few days should be interesting. I'll try to keep everyone updated through the Blog. Prayers for a fast recovery for Dad would be much appreciated. And a special prayer for my mom who pitches in at a moments notice to help out all the time would also be appreciated.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Partners in Crime....
So yesterday was a particularly busy day for me, and th children did lunch with Grandma and Grandpa while I was gone. As I am making dinner last night, I instruct the children to clean the play room. Gus rushes upstarirs with a sausage in his hand declaring that "Greg and Margwet are eating the ends of the sausages!" Indeed, upon inspection, the Polish sausage was chewed- through the plastic! So I go downstairs to the overflow fridge abd there they are- having a little snack! I had 4 packages of polish sausage and a package of sliced cheese- they had chewed through the plastic of all of them and were eating them! And to make matters worse- they chewed both ends!
Guess what we are having for dinner tonight? ::sigh:: Those two have way too much fun together.
Guess what we are having for dinner tonight? ::sigh:: Those two have way too much fun together.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Daddy, you can have my quarter...
to help buy the new house. This was said to Dan by Gus (age 5). It was a nickel by the way, but the thought is what really mattered.
Last Thursday, the 12th of January, we were having our last planning meeting with our contractor before demolition was to begin on Tuesday. At this meeting they tell us our project is going to cost $80,000 more than our well known budget amount. I guess they just thought we had that kind of money sitting around. I blew an absolute gasket, and fired them. I feel as part of taking care of Dan's parents we are to be good stewrds to protect their assets in case they are needed later. In order to continue with the construction project we woudl have to seriously dip into their nest egg and there was NO WAY I was willing to do that.
I really do believe that the project cost more than our budget, I just think that long ago they should have realised that and made it known that bids were coming in high. At that point I was worried that no contractor could do it for our budgeted amount, and honestly, at this point of waiting 6 months already, I really was not willing to live through a major construction project with 5 small children, homeschooling and taking care of 2 elderly adults. I told Dan there was no other choice, we are moving.
Friday I called my good friend and attorney, Angela, and she recommended her real estate agent. This woman was such a gem. I told her we need someone to be patient with us and hold our hands through this whole process. We started looking at houses on Saturday and looked also Sunday and Monday. On Sunday I had seen a house and told Dan when going through it- this is it- he looked at me worried :) We continued to look on Monday. On Tuesday we put a contract on the house, they had until 5 pm Wednesday to respond. Before 4 on TUESDAY, they countered and we accepted. We close on our new house on February 17th. The family who owns it happens to be a homeschooling family with 5 children!
House hunting with our particular needs is quite a challenge. Dan and I are really committed and sewn into the city. And to find a house that has a first floor bedroom with a bathroom attached, plus an additional bathroom on the main level was a challenge to say the least. We looked all over- Soulard, La Salle, Compton Heights, Saint Louis Hills, University City, Kirkwood, Glendale, Webster Groves. By Tuesday we were utterly exhausted, and I already knew this was the house.
The House:
The interesting thing about this house is in some ways it is a side ways move. It is still just 4 bedrooms, but the layout of the bedrooms is so much better for our needs. No longer when I'm working in the kitchen late at night or early in the morning will I worry that I'll disturb Mom and Dad. Dad will have his own private bathroom that he can linger in as long as he wants and the rest of the family will still have another one to use in the mean time. This house is very contemporary- which if you know mine and Dan's taste- you know I describe it as "Old, stuffy and Traditional". I'm sure this has all happened for a reason and that God has a beautiful plan for our family.
Back in September when Dan's parents moved in with us this house wasn't even on the market- so even if we had been looking we wouldn't have found THIS house. Then when they put it on the market in October we would not have been able to buy the house and do the things needed for Dan's mom before move in if we had bought it at that price. But waiting until they had already lowered their price, and then negotitating an even lower price will protect the nest egg and allow us to take care of Dan's parents. The yard is significantly smaller than our current home. But there are positives in that too- now we should be able to maintain the beautiful landscaping they have, and the children love the playground on the small piece of yard we do have at the new house.
I have begun asking Saint Joseph to help us find a good buyer for our current home. I hope it blesses someone else, as much as it has immensely blessed us. ++Saint Joseph, pray for us++ And God bless sweet Gus who wanted to give all he had to help us buy a new house to help take care of Grandma and Grandpa.
Last Thursday, the 12th of January, we were having our last planning meeting with our contractor before demolition was to begin on Tuesday. At this meeting they tell us our project is going to cost $80,000 more than our well known budget amount. I guess they just thought we had that kind of money sitting around. I blew an absolute gasket, and fired them. I feel as part of taking care of Dan's parents we are to be good stewrds to protect their assets in case they are needed later. In order to continue with the construction project we woudl have to seriously dip into their nest egg and there was NO WAY I was willing to do that.
I really do believe that the project cost more than our budget, I just think that long ago they should have realised that and made it known that bids were coming in high. At that point I was worried that no contractor could do it for our budgeted amount, and honestly, at this point of waiting 6 months already, I really was not willing to live through a major construction project with 5 small children, homeschooling and taking care of 2 elderly adults. I told Dan there was no other choice, we are moving.
Friday I called my good friend and attorney, Angela, and she recommended her real estate agent. This woman was such a gem. I told her we need someone to be patient with us and hold our hands through this whole process. We started looking at houses on Saturday and looked also Sunday and Monday. On Sunday I had seen a house and told Dan when going through it- this is it- he looked at me worried :) We continued to look on Monday. On Tuesday we put a contract on the house, they had until 5 pm Wednesday to respond. Before 4 on TUESDAY, they countered and we accepted. We close on our new house on February 17th. The family who owns it happens to be a homeschooling family with 5 children!
House hunting with our particular needs is quite a challenge. Dan and I are really committed and sewn into the city. And to find a house that has a first floor bedroom with a bathroom attached, plus an additional bathroom on the main level was a challenge to say the least. We looked all over- Soulard, La Salle, Compton Heights, Saint Louis Hills, University City, Kirkwood, Glendale, Webster Groves. By Tuesday we were utterly exhausted, and I already knew this was the house.
The House:
The interesting thing about this house is in some ways it is a side ways move. It is still just 4 bedrooms, but the layout of the bedrooms is so much better for our needs. No longer when I'm working in the kitchen late at night or early in the morning will I worry that I'll disturb Mom and Dad. Dad will have his own private bathroom that he can linger in as long as he wants and the rest of the family will still have another one to use in the mean time. This house is very contemporary- which if you know mine and Dan's taste- you know I describe it as "Old, stuffy and Traditional". I'm sure this has all happened for a reason and that God has a beautiful plan for our family.
Back in September when Dan's parents moved in with us this house wasn't even on the market- so even if we had been looking we wouldn't have found THIS house. Then when they put it on the market in October we would not have been able to buy the house and do the things needed for Dan's mom before move in if we had bought it at that price. But waiting until they had already lowered their price, and then negotitating an even lower price will protect the nest egg and allow us to take care of Dan's parents. The yard is significantly smaller than our current home. But there are positives in that too- now we should be able to maintain the beautiful landscaping they have, and the children love the playground on the small piece of yard we do have at the new house.
I have begun asking Saint Joseph to help us find a good buyer for our current home. I hope it blesses someone else, as much as it has immensely blessed us. ++Saint Joseph, pray for us++ And God bless sweet Gus who wanted to give all he had to help us buy a new house to help take care of Grandma and Grandpa.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
I am married to the best man ever put on this earth!
Russ has been steadily declining since they moved in September 2005. When they moved in Dad was often confused, but still mostly functional. Recently Dad has been having difficulty sleeping at night and has been walking many times and falling on the floor. Sometmes more than 4 times per night! This obviously wears on all of us, because no one is getting sleep when this happens. Russ also babbles nearly non stop while he is "sleeping" which means none of us really sleep either because mom has to listen to the constant chatter and we have a monitor in our room to keep track of them in case either of them need us during the night.
This week has been particularly bad for Russ' sleep. Despite the fact that he takes medicine to help him sleep(Ambien) he wasn't sleeping, so then we added in Benedryl to try to help him(and us) sleep. But that didn't work either. Then he started getting confrontational with Dan's mom and then we had to give him an Ativan. He still didn't sleep and then started falling more! We called his doctor and he recommended giving him 2 Ativan at night with his other medicines! So we did this. Saturday Dan had to shower his father twice due to incontinence. (Then later that day Russ decided he needed a shower- he didn't remember having 2 in the morning!)
Then on Sunday morning although our schedule was tight in order to get to Mass on time, Dan showered his father again. Dad was incontinent and unaware of what he had done. It is so sad to see him declining so rapidly. But Dan takes it all in stride, even tho patience and disruptions to his schedule are very hard for him to take. He treats his dad with such love. When I listen to him shower and dress his dad, it just makes me want to cry because his heart is so tender .
May God bless us and especially Dan as we live through these mext few months!
BTW, we are going to try to cut back on the bedtimes meds and see what we can do that helps Dad stay continent and all of us sleep. Its all trial and error!
This week has been particularly bad for Russ' sleep. Despite the fact that he takes medicine to help him sleep(Ambien) he wasn't sleeping, so then we added in Benedryl to try to help him(and us) sleep. But that didn't work either. Then he started getting confrontational with Dan's mom and then we had to give him an Ativan. He still didn't sleep and then started falling more! We called his doctor and he recommended giving him 2 Ativan at night with his other medicines! So we did this. Saturday Dan had to shower his father twice due to incontinence. (Then later that day Russ decided he needed a shower- he didn't remember having 2 in the morning!)
Then on Sunday morning although our schedule was tight in order to get to Mass on time, Dan showered his father again. Dad was incontinent and unaware of what he had done. It is so sad to see him declining so rapidly. But Dan takes it all in stride, even tho patience and disruptions to his schedule are very hard for him to take. He treats his dad with such love. When I listen to him shower and dress his dad, it just makes me want to cry because his heart is so tender .
May God bless us and especially Dan as we live through these mext few months!
BTW, we are going to try to cut back on the bedtimes meds and see what we can do that helps Dad stay continent and all of us sleep. Its all trial and error!
Introduction to our cast of characters
Dan- father of five married Natalie in April of 1995. Dan went to Saint Louis University Highschool (SLUH), then went to the Air Force Academy for college. He graduated with a BS in Russian History. Dan went on to pilot training where he was a cargo pilot for USAF. During our time at Little Rock AFB, Dan decided being a pilot wasn't compatible with his aspirations for being a Catholic husband and father(too much time away from his family). He left flying and worked desk jobs for the Air Force until January 2001. Dan went to Washington University in Saint Louis and got his MBA. He is currently employed at Edward Jones.
Natalie- mother of five, married Dan in April 1995. Natalie went to Saint John the Baptist highschool. After highschool she went to community college for a year, then to Lutheran Medical Center school of Nursing. Natalie graduated from Lutheran in 1995, two months after she & Dan were married. Natalie has never been emplyed as a nurse. She & Dan knew they wanted a large family and she became a SAHW, before becoming a SAHM. These days Natalie is busy caring for her 5 children, homeschooling Anne & Beth, caring for her in laws & managing everyone's busy schedules.
Evelyn- Evelyn is Dan's mother. She is in her 70's and currently she is confined to a wheelchair de to having spinal stenosis. She has been in a wheelchair since March 2005. In May 2005, she had a surgery for spinal stenosis. In November 2005, another blockage was noticed on a follow up MRI, and later that month she had another surgery to fix it. She is currently having Physical Therapy at home a couple of times per week. She is walking more with the walker these days and is getting stronger everyday. We have hopes that she will actually walk again one day. Evelyn enjoys reading the newspaper, books, cross word puzzles. She also likes to help out around the house and is an excellent ironer!
Russ- Russ is Dan's father, also in his 70's. Russ has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease. The Alzheimer's is the biggest reason Russ & Evelyn moved in with us this year, he was becoming to hard to manage for Evelyn alone at home anymore. Each day he steadily declines. There is pretty much no joy left in his life these days. We are trying to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. Dad was a postman for 35 years and the highlight of his day is still when the mail arrives!
Anne Catherine-AKA Annie- born in 1996 is the eldest of the children. She is currently in the 4th grade of our homeschool. We use the Kolbe Academy curriculm and she is an excellent student. Aside from her normal studies she studies Latin with Dan and is also involved in piano lessons and swimming lessons. Anne is a total bookworm. Her other interests are playing cards with her grandmother, playing Scrabble, riding her bicycle and playing with her many friends. She is a wonderful helper around the house.
Elizabeth Claire-AKA Beth- born in 1998, and typical second child. Beth is currently in second grade of our homeschool. We also use Kolbe Academy for her lessons. I can't say Beth loves school, but she does well as long as someone stays on her to get her assignments completed. Besides her normal lessons Beth also takes swimming lessons and will start piano in the summer of 2006. Beth loves to be mommy's assistant. She doesn't love reading the way Anne does. She enjoys playing with Barbie dolls, and she is an excellent artist. Beth is also very athletic, it just all comes naturally to her. She was the first one to learn to ride her bike. She loves to climb trees, walls, poles, anything she can! She is a very happy child and has lots of enthusiasm.
August Conrad -AKA Gus- born in 2000 and what an awesome 3rd child he is! He is so happy and animated. He will start kindergarten in the Fall of 2006. Gus is such a typical boy. He loves to play outside, dig, make a mess. He enjoys plaaying with trucks, trains, planes, and horses,etc. Gus also enjoys drawing and making paper airplanes. We have to be careful with Gus when he plays with others because he has a very serious life threatening peanut allergy(as well as other allergies too). Gus is very careful to ask if something has nuts before consuming it because his reactions are so scary.
Margaret Rose- AKA Meg or Meggie or Delicate Flower born in 2001. Yes, you read that right she thinks she is a delicate flower. She is an amusing child. She tells us her petals are dirty(hands and face) and asks us to clean her. Meg is not nearly as independant at her age as the other girls are, but I think that is mostly because the older girls coddle her so! Meg was born 4 weeks premature and is small for her age. She also has a very low pain threshold compared to others, which is why I orginally told her she was a delicate flower :) Meg loves to color and cut. Meg is quite bright has wonderful dexterity for a child her age. Her favorite things to do are to cuddle and to play dolls. Meg has some issues in that she whines incessantly- this is something we are working on! Meg also has a very serious peanut allery.
Gregory Leo- AKA Greg, or Hurricane Greg was born in 2003. Greg is the happiest child ever. He was very colicky for the first YEAR, but he is now making up for the terrible beginning. Greg plays way his days, mostly with Thomas the Tank Engine and bulding train tracks. He has no desire to be potty trained at this point at all :( We hope to have him potty trained by summer of 2006. Greg also enjoys cuddling in bed with mommy in the morning and making "visits" to grandma to greet her when she wakes up. He is a joy for all who encounter him!
Natalie- mother of five, married Dan in April 1995. Natalie went to Saint John the Baptist highschool. After highschool she went to community college for a year, then to Lutheran Medical Center school of Nursing. Natalie graduated from Lutheran in 1995, two months after she & Dan were married. Natalie has never been emplyed as a nurse. She & Dan knew they wanted a large family and she became a SAHW, before becoming a SAHM. These days Natalie is busy caring for her 5 children, homeschooling Anne & Beth, caring for her in laws & managing everyone's busy schedules.
Evelyn- Evelyn is Dan's mother. She is in her 70's and currently she is confined to a wheelchair de to having spinal stenosis. She has been in a wheelchair since March 2005. In May 2005, she had a surgery for spinal stenosis. In November 2005, another blockage was noticed on a follow up MRI, and later that month she had another surgery to fix it. She is currently having Physical Therapy at home a couple of times per week. She is walking more with the walker these days and is getting stronger everyday. We have hopes that she will actually walk again one day. Evelyn enjoys reading the newspaper, books, cross word puzzles. She also likes to help out around the house and is an excellent ironer!
Russ- Russ is Dan's father, also in his 70's. Russ has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease. The Alzheimer's is the biggest reason Russ & Evelyn moved in with us this year, he was becoming to hard to manage for Evelyn alone at home anymore. Each day he steadily declines. There is pretty much no joy left in his life these days. We are trying to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. Dad was a postman for 35 years and the highlight of his day is still when the mail arrives!
Anne Catherine-AKA Annie- born in 1996 is the eldest of the children. She is currently in the 4th grade of our homeschool. We use the Kolbe Academy curriculm and she is an excellent student. Aside from her normal studies she studies Latin with Dan and is also involved in piano lessons and swimming lessons. Anne is a total bookworm. Her other interests are playing cards with her grandmother, playing Scrabble, riding her bicycle and playing with her many friends. She is a wonderful helper around the house.
Elizabeth Claire-AKA Beth- born in 1998, and typical second child. Beth is currently in second grade of our homeschool. We also use Kolbe Academy for her lessons. I can't say Beth loves school, but she does well as long as someone stays on her to get her assignments completed. Besides her normal lessons Beth also takes swimming lessons and will start piano in the summer of 2006. Beth loves to be mommy's assistant. She doesn't love reading the way Anne does. She enjoys playing with Barbie dolls, and she is an excellent artist. Beth is also very athletic, it just all comes naturally to her. She was the first one to learn to ride her bike. She loves to climb trees, walls, poles, anything she can! She is a very happy child and has lots of enthusiasm.
August Conrad -AKA Gus- born in 2000 and what an awesome 3rd child he is! He is so happy and animated. He will start kindergarten in the Fall of 2006. Gus is such a typical boy. He loves to play outside, dig, make a mess. He enjoys plaaying with trucks, trains, planes, and horses,etc. Gus also enjoys drawing and making paper airplanes. We have to be careful with Gus when he plays with others because he has a very serious life threatening peanut allergy(as well as other allergies too). Gus is very careful to ask if something has nuts before consuming it because his reactions are so scary.
Margaret Rose- AKA Meg or Meggie or Delicate Flower born in 2001. Yes, you read that right she thinks she is a delicate flower. She is an amusing child. She tells us her petals are dirty(hands and face) and asks us to clean her. Meg is not nearly as independant at her age as the other girls are, but I think that is mostly because the older girls coddle her so! Meg was born 4 weeks premature and is small for her age. She also has a very low pain threshold compared to others, which is why I orginally told her she was a delicate flower :) Meg loves to color and cut. Meg is quite bright has wonderful dexterity for a child her age. Her favorite things to do are to cuddle and to play dolls. Meg has some issues in that she whines incessantly- this is something we are working on! Meg also has a very serious peanut allery.
Gregory Leo- AKA Greg, or Hurricane Greg was born in 2003. Greg is the happiest child ever. He was very colicky for the first YEAR, but he is now making up for the terrible beginning. Greg plays way his days, mostly with Thomas the Tank Engine and bulding train tracks. He has no desire to be potty trained at this point at all :( We hope to have him potty trained by summer of 2006. Greg also enjoys cuddling in bed with mommy in the morning and making "visits" to grandma to greet her when she wakes up. He is a joy for all who encounter him!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
An Alzheimer's funny from 2005
Last Decemeber I was making myself a cup of hot tea. I have these awesome huge red coffee mugs in my kitchen that I was using. I am really the only one who ever uses them...so... it surprised me when I came upstairs to see my FIL(with alzheimer's) pouring a beer into my red coffee mug- luckily he pulled a fresh one and it wasn't the one my tea was is- so no biggie.
But, FIL didn't finish his beer before dinner, so the mug came to the table with us. After dinner we had Christmas cookies for dessert. FIL takes a drink of his mug and says:
FIL:ugh- this coffee is cold
Gnat: that's not coffee, its beer, taste it- what is it?
FIL(takes drink): coffee. I need to warm it up
Gnatno, its beer, not coffee, we don't warm up beer
FIL: I have to warm up this coffee(walks to kitchen)
Gnat(follows him): Look in the mug- what does it look like?
FIL: beer
Gnat: taste it.
FIL(takes drink)
Gnat: what is it?
FIL: coffee- ugh its cold.
(this goes on for another minute before I finally give up and help him warm up his beer)
we go back to the table for dessert and he takes a drink of his hot beer
Gnat: How is your beer?
FIL: the coffee is good!
The moral of the story is: find humor in all that you can- we all enjoyed a good laugh and FIL was totally unaware he had done anything funny and just sat eating his cookies and drinking his hot coffee..er I mean hot beer.
But, FIL didn't finish his beer before dinner, so the mug came to the table with us. After dinner we had Christmas cookies for dessert. FIL takes a drink of his mug and says:
FIL:ugh- this coffee is cold
Gnat: that's not coffee, its beer, taste it- what is it?
FIL(takes drink): coffee. I need to warm it up
Gnatno, its beer, not coffee, we don't warm up beer
FIL: I have to warm up this coffee(walks to kitchen)
Gnat(follows him): Look in the mug- what does it look like?
FIL: beer
Gnat: taste it.
FIL(takes drink)
Gnat: what is it?
FIL: coffee- ugh its cold.
(this goes on for another minute before I finally give up and help him warm up his beer)
we go back to the table for dessert and he takes a drink of his hot beer
Gnat: How is your beer?
FIL: the coffee is good!
The moral of the story is: find humor in all that you can- we all enjoyed a good laugh and FIL was totally unaware he had done anything funny and just sat eating his cookies and drinking his hot coffee..er I mean hot beer.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Junk...er..stuff I mean- where does it all come from???
And how do I store it all??? I sware things multiply while my back is turned. Since we are at a point where I can not be in a pregnancy on bedrest, we are using NFP to avoid more children. So yes, I am giving away the little girl things when Meg out grows them, and giving away the boy stuff when Greg outgrows them, but SHEESH!!! we own a lot of stuff- tents, sleeping bags, toys, books, decorations where does one store all this junk..er ,I mean, stuff?
Freecycle, here I come!
At least today was a good productive day. I have gotten rid of 4 boxes of boy clothes & shoes, got my car washed, went to the pet store, ordered new glass for the coffee table Greg broke the other day, and gotten together at least 2 big boxes to go to charity.
4 days until homeschooling resumes. I better get busy!
Freecycle, here I come!
At least today was a good productive day. I have gotten rid of 4 boxes of boy clothes & shoes, got my car washed, went to the pet store, ordered new glass for the coffee table Greg broke the other day, and gotten together at least 2 big boxes to go to charity.
4 days until homeschooling resumes. I better get busy!
Oh the joys of home ownership!
We bought our home in July of 1996. The people who owned it before us were awesome- but here 10 years later everything seems to need to be replaced all at the same time. So last week our hot water heater went out- we got it replaced andthen our garbage disposal went out- UGH! We got it replaced. Then yesterday we are having a prty with our friends for the Fiesta bowl(sorry Notre Dame lost) and there is no hot water when I go to wash up some dishes!! Double UGH!
So I call our contractor- Kenny comes over first thing. Finds the problem, and gets it all fixed. Ahhh blessed hot water. Its amazing how much you appreciate something once its gone.
So I call our contractor- Kenny comes over first thing. Finds the problem, and gets it all fixed. Ahhh blessed hot water. Its amazing how much you appreciate something once its gone.
Monday, January 02, 2006
The good bad and ugly of 2005
GOOD of 2005
January-
*Natalie gets first professional massage
February-
*Dan has a rare chance to play Bridge with the guys
*Natalie has bridesmaids lunch with the girls
*Beth has slumber party to celebrate her 7th birthday
*Gus turns 5!
March-
*Anne & Beth's first trip to the city museum
*Natalie attends the Catholic Homeschooling Confrence
*Natalie teaches a cooking & etiquette class to homeschooling co-op
April-
*Dan attends Opus Dei retreat
*Natalie hosts bridal shower for Ann Campbell
*Dan & Natalie celebrate their 10th Anniversary
*Anne has a slumber party to celebrate her 9th birthday
*Anne has her first piano festival
May-
*Beth receives First Communion
*Evelyn has back surgery for spinal stenosis
*Family takes a much needed family vacation to Florida for 2 beautiful blissful weeks
June-
*Gregory turns 2!!
*Miss Ann & Mr.Dan get married!!!
*Grandma treats the family to Circus Flora
*The Cyr family visits from Miami
July-
*Dan turns 36~ how time flies!
*We host "Evening at the Beach dinner party" and swim in galvanized pool with 6 other adults
*Sign with Cornerstone Concepts for major addition & renovation
August-
*Annual Family camping trip to Alley Springs(Natalie, Meg & Greg stay in motel)
*Family goes to a Cardinals baseball game- a gift from the summer reading program
*The Oldenburgs visit from Pennsylvania
September-
*Dan participates in much anticipated Fantasy Football Draft
*Homeschooling for school year 2005-2006 begins
*Dan's parents move in with us!
*Natalie goes to Des Moines for a girls weekend with her friends
*Annual Apple picking at Eckert's Orchards
October-
*Margaret turns 4 years old!!
*Natalie goes on Opus Dei retreat
*Edward Jones hosts trick or treating for employee children
November-
*Dan's parents sell their house
*Dan's dad(Russ) turns 74!
*Dan's mom (Evelyn) turns 76!
*Evelyn has second back surgey
*Anne parade of American Music(piano recital)
*Natalie brines her first turkey this Thanksgiving- YUM!
December-
*Natalie turns 32!
*First Christmas without running all over creation
BAD of 2005
March
*Natalie has jury duty(only bad because of needing to find childcare)
*Dan's mom admits they can't do it alone anymore and agrees to move in together(bad because they lose independance)
August
*Gus has bad allergic reaction to peanuts at the ballpark
September
*Natalie has foot injury spends 6 weeks doing physical therapy
November
*Evelyn needs second back sugery
*Greg goes to ER for croup
December
*Greg goes to the ER for croup(yes, again!)
*Meg goes to ER for very serious allergic reaction to peanuts
UGLY of 2005
June
*Natalie gets shingles- 3 full weeks of misery
and the general ugly of 2005 is the extreme deteoriation of Dan's Dad. He has alzheimer's and becomes more disoriented by the day :(
January-
*Natalie gets first professional massage
February-
*Dan has a rare chance to play Bridge with the guys
*Natalie has bridesmaids lunch with the girls
*Beth has slumber party to celebrate her 7th birthday
*Gus turns 5!
March-
*Anne & Beth's first trip to the city museum
*Natalie attends the Catholic Homeschooling Confrence
*Natalie teaches a cooking & etiquette class to homeschooling co-op
April-
*Dan attends Opus Dei retreat
*Natalie hosts bridal shower for Ann Campbell
*Dan & Natalie celebrate their 10th Anniversary
*Anne has a slumber party to celebrate her 9th birthday
*Anne has her first piano festival
May-
*Beth receives First Communion
*Evelyn has back surgery for spinal stenosis
*Family takes a much needed family vacation to Florida for 2 beautiful blissful weeks
June-
*Gregory turns 2!!
*Miss Ann & Mr.Dan get married!!!
*Grandma treats the family to Circus Flora
*The Cyr family visits from Miami
July-
*Dan turns 36~ how time flies!
*We host "Evening at the Beach dinner party" and swim in galvanized pool with 6 other adults
*Sign with Cornerstone Concepts for major addition & renovation
August-
*Annual Family camping trip to Alley Springs(Natalie, Meg & Greg stay in motel)
*Family goes to a Cardinals baseball game- a gift from the summer reading program
*The Oldenburgs visit from Pennsylvania
September-
*Dan participates in much anticipated Fantasy Football Draft
*Homeschooling for school year 2005-2006 begins
*Dan's parents move in with us!
*Natalie goes to Des Moines for a girls weekend with her friends
*Annual Apple picking at Eckert's Orchards
October-
*Margaret turns 4 years old!!
*Natalie goes on Opus Dei retreat
*Edward Jones hosts trick or treating for employee children
November-
*Dan's parents sell their house
*Dan's dad(Russ) turns 74!
*Dan's mom (Evelyn) turns 76!
*Evelyn has second back surgey
*Anne parade of American Music(piano recital)
*Natalie brines her first turkey this Thanksgiving- YUM!
December-
*Natalie turns 32!
*First Christmas without running all over creation
BAD of 2005
March
*Natalie has jury duty(only bad because of needing to find childcare)
*Dan's mom admits they can't do it alone anymore and agrees to move in together(bad because they lose independance)
August
*Gus has bad allergic reaction to peanuts at the ballpark
September
*Natalie has foot injury spends 6 weeks doing physical therapy
November
*Evelyn needs second back sugery
*Greg goes to ER for croup
December
*Greg goes to the ER for croup(yes, again!)
*Meg goes to ER for very serious allergic reaction to peanuts
UGLY of 2005
June
*Natalie gets shingles- 3 full weeks of misery
and the general ugly of 2005 is the extreme deteoriation of Dan's Dad. He has alzheimer's and becomes more disoriented by the day :(
Ahhhh.. a New Year....a fresh start
*******sniff****** I love the smell of a new year, of a fresh start. I'm hoping this blog can be a diary of sorts and also that this blog can be a way for our family members near or far to keep up to date on all the happenings in our bustling home.
Goals for this new year:
1) lose 25 pounds
2) blog at least once a week
3) daily Mass
4) daily exercise
5) implement new schedule
Goals for this new year:
1) lose 25 pounds
2) blog at least once a week
3) daily Mass
4) daily exercise
5) implement new schedule
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